I spent hours, literally, reading this
blog today. During my previous blogging stint and by bouncing around bloggy world, I remember seeing this button but never really investigated it.
Until today.
Stephanie Nielson, the author of
nieniedialogues, is an adoring and inspiring mother of 4, a doting wife, and she has GREAT style. One would think she led a perfect life. Big family, loving husband, great kids, fun clothes and lots of friends. But, in August of last year, she was in an almost fatal plane crash. While both of their lives were spared, the 3rd member of their party was not. And even though they were alive, both went into a coma, he having burned 35% of his body, and her, 80%. Her blog was maintained by friends and family while she was in the hospital. And now, while she still blogs about her husband and children, she sheds the most light on the healing process she is walking through. What it is like to not recognize yourself in the mirror, even though you are the same person. And how difficult it is to not have your baby recognize you and call someone other than you, "mother."
Today, as I was reading through her blog archives, I was overcome with emotion. Tears welled in my eyes for hours on end. Here is a young woman, with her whole life ahead of her, forever changed by this tragic accident. Although she is very open with how she is feeling and how the healing process has affected her and her family, I am completely unable to comprehend what that would be like. The most difficult thing about reading posts prior to her accident was thinking, "wow, in 2 months or 3 weeks (or whatever) they have no idea that they will almost die in a plane crash."
Today was a day of thinking, reflecting, and feeling more love for my own kids than I have ever felt before. I was arrested by the idea that I have absolutely NO IDEA what tomorrow holds. I buckled the girls a little tighter, didn't talk on the phone while driving, and surely didn't text message. I am realizing that tomorrow my life could change forever. That can sound cliche, but after reading about Stephanie's struggles, it makes it ever so real. I am in awe of how she clings to her faith. I am not LDS like her, but I appreciate the courage she shows in holding onto to her beliefs and the healing that is coming from it all.
She mentions often how she has gotten a second chance at life. And, as not many people get that second chance, I want desperately to get my first chance right. I want to love my kids better. I want to serve and love my husband with more joy. I will appreciate my life more; the life I was made for. I have it good you know. I have food in the cupboard, in the fridge, on my table and in my belly. I have a roof over my head. I have a husband that loves me and 5 super freaking awesome kids. I want to put them first more. I want to think more about what is best for the 6 of them and try my hardest to help them achieve their goals and urge them in their God-given talents.
My heart is full tonight. Full of prayers and thankfulness.
(It is a little strange to be posting about someone I do not know. If I ever had the chance to call her up or meet her, I would like to be able to say how inspirational her story has been. How it spoke to me and encouraged me in ways I cannot express. I hope that she knows how precious she is and that she will bless and encourage both men and women for years to come. )
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